How to Confront your Fears

I would like to help all of you confront your fears, mainly to make up for the overly sciency nature of that quantum physics post. Especially after I mangled it all to hell and left out most of the actual facts. Did you know that Albert Einstein wore his socks inside out? I don’t actually know this to be a fact, but if it is, I left it out. I’m totally unreliable.

Now that I have sufficiently proven my unreliability, let’s get to helping you with your serious life issues. Since I don’t know what your fears are, we can start by confronting mine. By ‘confronting,’ I mean writing them down in a blog and then doing nothing about them.

Fear 1. Flying Alone

It isn’t really spending time at high speeds flying through the air that concerns me. I don’t like figuring out the airport. I never know what to do at any given time and crack easily under pressure. Security is no place for me to be. The high anxiety dance of taking off shoes, opening a lap top, and placing all the carry-on crap into plastic bins with the rush of people behind me doing the same pushes my blood pressure to a dangerous level. Even after all that, you still have to figure out where to go to get on the right plane.

When you finally make it on the right plane, you have to sit next to some random person. As if that isn’t enough, there is always the risk that person will want to chat with you. It is important to get headphones on as quickly as possible. Don’t worry if they aren’t plugged into anything, you can fix that later. Just wear the headphones all the time. Better yet, here is a shirt:

When you get off the plane, you have to negotiate more transportation to where ever it is you hope to end up. Rental cars, taxis, shuttles, and trains may be available. If you miss any of these, you will fall through the cracks and be trapped in transit forever. I’m pretty sure this is how people end up begging on the street for coins.

Fear 2. Eating

I can’t eat a proper meal in a public place by myself. I would rather just starve. For some reason, dining alone at a table makes me feel like people are staring at me thinking how socially awkward I must be not to be able to find someone to consume food with. While traveling alone, I tend to carry around a lot of granola bars. If you see someone sitting on a sidewalk somewhere begging for change while eating their last granola bar, that is probably me.  I must have missed my shuttle.

Fear 3. Automatic Car Washes

I keep telling myself that anyone of average intelligence can handle themselves in these automated car washes. There are lights that tell you to stop and go, and people motioning when you need to drive up and put your car in neutral. I am still terrified. I get things wrong all the time. Apparently, I need double the amount of explaining for a simple task that an average person. I don’t just need to know what to do, I need to know why. I need to know what will happen if I screw this up.

Running a large motored device through a small space with moving equipment does not seem like a thing I would be good at. There is a large percentage chance I will do something wrong that will directly result in my crashing my car inadvertently into the car wash. Then, I will be stuck in the car wash. My car will be stuck there too.  My broken car and I will be in the broken car wash, stranded there for everyone to mock for all eternity. I will just stick with the dust. Thanks anyway.

I hope you enjoyed confronting these fears. Now that the fears have been confronted, we can all go through our days not eating, and driving filthy cars while avoiding air travel. We will be so happy.

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About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

37 Responses to How to Confront your Fears

  1. Debihen says:

    I fear all of those. The Flying Alone one especially. What if the plane is going down? Who’s hand will I hold? I can’t hold the hand of the person next to me; I have know idea where that hand has been. Which, is pretty futile if the plane is crashing; but you can never be too cautious when it comes to germs.

  2. a says:

    It’s not your imagination. I was out eating dinner by myself is Seattle once, and the waiter kept coming over to my table like they wanted me to eat quickly and get the hell out. Now that I know that’s how they feel, I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to do it again, so I can sit at the table for hours. By myself.

    It’s been so long since I’ve been in an automatic car wash that I am afraid of them! I bought a convertible in 1998, which couldn’t go through those, and then I met my husband, who is opposed to those because “they scratch the paint.” And then the dealerships started washing the car after my oil change. Except this last time, when they were too busy. So, that is why I found myself washing all the salt and dirt off of my car the other day. By hand.

    The airport doesn’t bother me, though. I find it amusing to watch people and airports are one of the best places for that.

    • lgalaviz says:

      I do like to people watch. And, you are right, the airport is the very best place for that. I just need someone around to make sure I don’t fall off the edge of civilization. Or forget the name of my hotel.

  3. Rich Crete says:

    Eating alone bites. (yeah, I know, sorry)
    Exception of course is Cheetos. Once I open the bag you risk bodily harm if you come within 20′ of me. The gutteral growl will alert you if you breach proximity lines.

    It’s unfair but true. It’s easier for guys to eat alone. We can saddle up to any bar and pretend to be engrossed in whatever pivotal sporting event is on the tube, without fear of being hit on…at least, I can.

  4. I love eating alone. I like taking a really long time, too, and bringing a book and looking like I’m someone fancy who can’t be bothered with lowly dinner companions. I also like flying alone, unless the person sitting next to me talks to me or is an armrest hog.

    Pretty much anything I can do alone, I love, because I hate people, is what I’m saying, I think.

    You have someone at your automatic car wash that tells you when to put it in neutral? That’s fancy. We just have a sign that lights up. It all happens very quickly and makes me very nervous.

    • lgalaviz says:

      You sound very self-confident.

      There are people there, at the car wash. I’m not sure exactly what they do. Yell at people ramming their cars into the car wash, I assume.

  5. Midianite Manna says:

    I always bring a book when I eat alone, but you could have a custom shirt made for these occasions: “Why yes, I am dining alone, thanks for reminding me how socially awkward I am.” Guaranteed to get more funny looks but fewer comments.

    • lgalaviz says:

      Maybe you can get a custom book cover. That way you don’t have to change your shirt for dinner. Wait, this isn’t the self-help book cover website! What am I saying??

  6. Carmen says:

    Flying along can be fun, you can totally make up a new persona and be like the crown princess of Guadelaraja (sp?) or some made up civilization. Not that I have done that. Never.

  7. Gigi says:

    I’m learning to eat alone – but I generally bring a crossword puzzle (because it makes me look all smart-like when I start filling in answers IN PEN!). Flying alone, I don’t mind too much…but then I don’t go anywhere often. The car wash makes me a little nervous – pretty much for the reasons you’ve described.

    Hmmm, now that I think of it….I pretty much do a lot alone…..I’m more like Lucy than I thought….I really don’t like people after all.

  8. There is this theory that we feel awkward eating savoury meals alone in public because we’re meant to share those. It’s supposedly an old hunter-gatherer thing: we share meat, but snack on fruit and nuts individually. Which, incidentally, is why we’re more comfortable eating sweet things alone in public.

    But I don’t know; this theory feels a little bit contrived.

  9. DogsDontPurr says:

    Erf…eating alone!! I hate it.

    Once, I was traveling alone, ending up in a small town for a bit. I was excited to learn that the motel/hotel had a small restaurant/bar attached.
    I went down to have dinner..alone…and the place was packed. Except for a round table for 6 in the middle of the restaurant. And that’s where they seated me!!!!

    Can you imagine eating alone at a table set for SIX….in the middle of the dining room?!?!

    I thought I was going to die! Even though I asked for my food to go, I thought the ice age was going to set in before I could high~tail it back to my room. OMG!!!

    I think I still have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from that event…to this day!!

  10. lahikmajoe says:

    ‘By ‘confronting,’ I mean writing them down in a blog and then doing nothing about them.’

    Is that what *confronting* means? If so, I’m very confrontational. There’re many things I throw up on my blog and then do nothing about.

    What does it say about me that I actually prefer eating alone? I’d often rather read the paper or a book anyway, so being alone is actually preferable. Quite.

    But if you’ve got something of your own to read, you’re welcome to come join me for a meal. If you don’t try starting a conversation that is.

  11. I have eaten alone in a restaurant exactly twice in my life that I can remember. I don’t know WHY but I have this fear that people are judging me for what I eat and how much I am eating if I am in a restaurant eating alone and I just can’t get past it and go out to eat alone. Just last weekend, in fact, I ended up scavenging something horrible out of the depths of the cupboard because even though I had a PLAN to go out alone, in the end, I was just too freaked out by the thought. Similarly, if I work for a large company that has an employee lunchroom, I can’t bring myself to go to the lunchroom and eat alone. If there is no take-away option, I will eat out of a vending machine rather than sit in the lunchroom. I will find some alcove under stairs that I hope isn’t frequented by secret smokers/drug dealers/that one couple in the office that everyone is pretty sure is doing it but no one can prove it.

    So, I guess that I am really only ok eating in public with people that I know really well who I am relatively certain won’t say something like “Really? ANOTHER trip to the buffet?” or ask the waitress “Seriously, does she looks like she NEEDS dessert?” Which leaves out most of my relatives. My goal is to find at least one woman friend who will go out to one of those fancy fondue restaurants with me. That way we can forever have the bond (and blackmail material) of “remember that night we ate all the freakin’ fondue?”

  12. I have SO MANY PROBLEMS with automatic car washes. I never seem to be able to drive my car in properly. Then I have to try again, but it’s already going or something, and I fly into a drivey panic. In light of this, it’s probably a good thing that I’m not a man. I imagine similar things would happen during intimate times.

    • lgalaviz says:

      Plus, not being a man, it is more socially acceptable to not be able to handle manuvering a car through a car wash. I have the dingy girl persona as a backup plan when I am not able to pull off competence.

      I wish they would invent a bra so I could inflate my boobs in proportion to how incompetently I am handling a situation. I would pay cash money for that.

  13. Edwin Drooooooood says:

    Huh, I’ve never had a problem eating out alone. I just focus on the food. I barely look up at all, except when the waitress comes. I’m always very friendly to the waitress, to make sure she doesn’t spit in my drink!

  14. Kristen Tober says:

    I don’t fly often and never alone, but I am totally with you on the eating alone!! I hate doing most anything alone, eating, shopping, everything!!

    • lgalaviz says:

      This is all so true. I feel like people are watching me. Some of them might be ax murderers. Of course, the ax murderers are probably watching me even if I am with other people. Maybe I just need to know there are people with me I can outrun.

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