How NOT to keep readers reading your articles on WordPress

Oh dear. It seems I have pissed someone off with my blog. I TOTALLY did not see this coming.  Don’t worry… I took screen shots of the comments so you can all enjoy my moment:

Comment 01

Wow… I had a RANT? Awesome. Wait… I had a rant on my guide to making t-shirts for Zazzle? That is terrible place for a rant. What kind of blog am I running here?

Comment 02

First of all… pretty funny? I am incredibly insulted. Secondly, how can a person get upset over gun and baby hating comments on a blog post about making t-shirts? Why on earth would anyone even bring up guns and babies while talking about making stuff on Zazzle? Oh, wait… this is MY blog. Frank is probably right, I do tend to drift from the topic at hand.

Dear Frank: Please allow me remedy the anti-gun and anti-life rant on the Zazzle T-shirt Guide by explaining my stance more clearly. It is NOT that I am pro-abortion. It is that I am against making women have babies. You see Frank, I have had a baby. I had a baby nine years ago. That was NINE years ago and he is STILL following me around asking for stuff like food, and clothing, and hermit crabs. You wouldn’t believe it Frank, it is like a NIGHTMARE. For a while, he was even making me watching this show with him about these trains that talked. TALKING TRAINS, Frank! I would never push that on anyone. It just seems cruel.

This is just to prove that I am not making up the whole thing about the talking trains.

This is just to prove that I am not making up the whole thing about the talking trains.

About the guns, I have to admit that they do make me uncomfortable. However, that is not because of MSNBC or ESPN, it is because of the messy cleanup. Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Those guys accidentally shot some dude in their car and there was brain mess EVERYWHERE. It took forever for them to clean it up. You probably don’t know me very well, Frank, but I am VERY accident-prone. If I am carrying a gun around, I will definitely end up shooting someone in my car.


See… look at the front of John Travolta’s shirt. No amount of OxyClean is ever getting that out.

As far as believing everything I see on MSNBC, can you please tell me what channel that is on? I mainly use my television for watching documentaries about cats. Also, I’m not that good at running the menu guide or telling what channel stuff is on. Also, I hate that Matt Lauer guy. Is he going to be on the MSNBC channel? Because, if so… I’m OUT. I don’t even know why I hate him. He is probably a totally nice guy. Not that I would sit down and have lunch with him or anything. I really don’t have time for all that. It must be the hair.

Matt Lauer's hair. It is VERY unsettling.

Matt Lauer’s hair. It is VERY unsettling.

So, to recap, it is not that I meant to piss you off, Frank. I am really very open-minded about these things. Any rants I may accidentally post to my Zazzle Guidelines stem directly from the fact that I do not want to have lunch with Matt Lauer. Honestly, I don’t even know how this stuff comes up. Sorry you stopped reading my blog because of my undue dislike of Matt Lauer’s haircut. You are probably justified. However, I must confess that most people stopped reading this blog a long time ago because it hasn’t been updated in ages. Ironically… you, Frank, are like my BIGGEST fan!

This is for you, Frank!

Also… one more…

You can never be too careful.

You can never be too careful.