How to stalk Indiana Jones in the parking lot and miserably fail

There is a jeep that parks outside my work with four-wheel drive and knobby tires. I always imagined Indiana Jones driving that jeep with wearing a leather hat and hanging his whip out an open window (and by that, I mean an ACTUAL whip. Get your pants back on Ding Dong Joe).

Today, I saw the jeep pull into a parking space. The man exiting the jeep looked, disappointingly, nothing like Indiana Jones. He wasn’t rugged, with tan skin weathered from the sun and wind. He was thin and pale. He had glasses and a suit. He had no leather hat. He looked, in fact, like he had never been outdoors a day in his life. I walked into the building reflecting on how disillusioned I was with the driver of this jeep.

Then… I started wondering if people are disappointed with me arriving in my Honda Civic. Who drives a Honda Civic, anyway? Maybe they are expecting a polite Asian man, and here I come out of the car all sarcastic and glaring. I feel like my car is a good fit for me though. I’m a terrible driver because I am essentially bad at aiming at things. This car is small enough to limit the damage of my carelessness and bad aim. Every time I miss something by inches, I am grateful not to be driving some mammoth SUV.

Then… I started thinking about those bumper stickers people put on their cars about their other car being something else. Wait, let me see if I can find an example.

This seems close enough.

Then… I started thinking about how you could apply this to t-shirts. This is what I came up with…

Get it? Because, you are trying to impress people, but really you make them think that you only have two shirts. HILARIOUS… right?

Fine. Give me a break. It’s Monday.

Oh… what? It’s Friday? Damn.


About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

15 Responses to How to stalk Indiana Jones in the parking lot and miserably fail

  1. Rich Crete says:

    Idea #2: My other shirt is…Who am I kidding? I don’t have another shirt.

  2. Blogdramedy says:

    One day some reader is going to totally steal one of your tee shirt slogans and not pay you the commission you so richly deserve.

    Don’t look at ME. It wouldn’t be me. Na-ha. Nope.

  3. I can confirm it’s Friday because it was ice cream day at work today. And ice cream day is always on a Friday. Anything else would be madness. Madness, I tell you!

  4. “and here I come out of the car all sarcastic and glaring” is just awesome! It makes you sound like a force of nature.

  5. I just started my new job. I don’t think Indiana Jones works there, but one can always hope.

    I saw a man that looked like he was wearing Groucho Marx glasses the other day, but it was just his face, then I felt bad for laughing.

    Ding Dong Joe takes off his pants on YOUR blog, too? @lahikmajoe needs to lock him in the house when he leaves for the day, this is getting ridiculous.

    My car says to people, “look out for this person, she clearly doesn’t know how not to hit things” because my license plate is all bendy because I hit curbs a lot.

    This is not on-topic at all, but in your tag cloud over there, it says “phones that drive pork rinds” and now I want you to write a post about that, please.

  6. Lisa says:

    I read this title and thought… “Yes, this is a post I should be reading.” I was not disappointed. In order to avoid further disappointment, might I suggest that you steal the car and go and give it to Harrison Ford? That way, every time you see him driving it you can be happy that it not only is being driven by Indiana Jones AND you can feel content in the knowledge that YOU made it happen.

    Also, I absolutely LOVE the t shirt and would totally wear that for the rest of my life.

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