The Rick Perry Luncheon Part Two: Walking to the Van

If you are only reading this for the Rick Perry part of the story, this isn’t it. See how I told you upfront to save you the time and disappointment?

My co-workers arrive one by one. I realize that they too look very different in their dress-up clothes. Now we can look like instant grown-ups together. We are all joking about jackets that are too big or almost too small and I explain my impossible shoes. We all have a good laugh.

The driver of the van arrives and we begin the walk. My walk is fairly stable as long as I concentrate and take tiny steps. Once you get the rhythm down, it isn’t too bad. I am about halfway to the van when I suddenly realize I have left my bottle of water and cereal bar by the chair I was sitting in. Ordinarily, I would just run back in and get the items, but with these shoes I will never make it. These shoes are putting me at a huge disadvantage even BEFORE the zombie attack. I’m already falling behind all the other people walking to the van. There is no way I can make it to the lobby and back in a reasonable amount of time. The prospect of a three-hour drive without my bottle of water and cereal bar is dismal. Panic sets in. Quick, what would Holly Golightly do?!?

“Oh, no!” I declare, and stop walking.

“What is it?” asks one of my male co-workers who comes rushing to my side.

“I left my cereal bar and bottle of water next to the chair in the lobby.” I tell him. I’m watching people get into the van. This moment is critical. If I am getting that cereal bar it is now or never.

“I’ll save you!” The man says in a deep voice. Then, he turns around and is suddenly wearing a bright red cape. He dashes into the building and comes out triumphantly, water bottle and cereal bar in hand.

“My hero.” I tell him in a breathy voice.

Then, I make him walk next to me until we get to the van so it won’t look like I am the one walking slow. I also tell him to take off the cape because it looks stupid.

I think to myself, “If I had a ukulele right now, I would sing Moon River until all of your ears bleed.”

Then, I get into the van. In the struggle of navigating to the back of the van in my very tall shoes, the cereal bar slips onto the seat. I watch it slide down into an impossible crevice just as everyone belts in and the trip is underway. Damn.

A diagram of my cereal bar dilemma. Items may not be to scale.

Check back soon for the final installment of the Rick Perry Luncheon: The Rick Perry Luncheon.

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About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

16 Responses to The Rick Perry Luncheon Part Two: Walking to the Van

  1. lahikmajoe says:

    You’re really building up the suspense, aren’t you?

    I’m beginning to think the real stars of this show are the shoes and the cereal bar.

  2. Gigi says:

    You really know how to draw out the story . . . you should be writing soap operas. Is there an evil twin?

  3. Blogdramedy says:

    I get back to reading blogs and what’s the first one I read? Yours and it’s all about Rick Perry (sort of)…I may go back into hibernation.

    • lgalaviz says:

      You are not giving me enough credit. It is also about cereal bars and pinchy shoes. And, also… the joke is on you! Because Rick Perry doesn’t even show up at the Rick Perry luncheon. HA!

    • lgalaviz says:

      I guess you aren’t going to be asking me to be a guest blogger. That is too bad. I was thinking of going to other luncheons where political figures fail to arrive.

  4. Oh! The drama! The DRAMA! Did you get to your cereal bar? Did you? DID you?!

    You better be writing the next installment right this minute, because I can’t stand the suspense much longer!

  5. Also: full points on using your femininity to get humans to do your bidding. I’m thinking of employing you as my propaganda minister for when I take over the world.

  6. elaine4queen says:

    if i thought i could get away with the html i would do glitter letters for “UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED”.

    just so’s you know.

  7. I am very impressed with the informative graphic of the van and the cereal bar. That’s how you know how this is a totally fancy blog. I can’t do anything like that. I just steal things from Google Images. That’s how you know I’m not taking this blogging thing seriously enough, I think.

  8. a says:

    It is totally devastating to lose a cereal bar in that manner – especially if there is a 3 hour drive in the offing. Of course, I’m such a well-mannered lady that I would have climbed under the seat and fished that damn cereal bar out of the crevice. Because no one messes with my breakfast.

  9. a says:

    Oh, yeah – that’s why it pays to be short. I can climb under van seats.

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