Why Girls Rule and Boys Drool

Not too long ago, Andreas Heinakroon had a blog post contemplating the always-on aspect of human sexuality which has proven rare among mammals such as us.  The human animal is unusual in another aspect in that we are logically aware of the burden of reproduction: “the concept of reproducing and becoming responsible for a child for 15-20 years might cause us to hesitate to engage in any sexual activities. To counter this, our brain is flooded with sex hormones. They make us want to have sex no matter what – consequences be damned – and is essentially a logics override, making us single-track minded and focussed only on sex” (Sexy Monkey , http://heinakroon.com).

This blog post was similar to every other post this guy has on his blog in that I found the ideas behind it incredibly thought-provoking. So I responded with,” Was reading Steven Pinker, How the Mind Works. He said something about how men create great works, like scientific achievements and art, to increase their status and get the most desirable mate possible.” I think I also mentioned something about how it is ironic that home computers are used for porn. That is when @heinakroon said the words of war, “I don’t think I agree with that.” Granted, I read the book years ago and sometimes don’t remember stuff exactly right, but from that point forward, the battle was on. This was at 4am. At 4:10am, I was digging through bookshelves for that damn Steven Pinker book.

At 4:15am I was madly typing entire sections from the Steven Pinker book in order to prove to @heinakroon that every time anyone accomplishes anything of note, they are doing it for sex.

But, then I began questioning the root cause of my own intentions. What exactly is my motivation for typing from the Steven Pinker book at an odd hour?  Am I motivated by sex? Am I trying to sleep with Steven Pinker? He is very accomplished, and scientific, but I don’t even know what he looks like. Would I still want to mate with him if he has poor eyesight? Or really bad skin? Are these the types of genetic attributes I want to pass on to my next generation?

Checking the back of the book for a photo of Steven Pinker yielded no results. I contemplated a quick Internet search, but that would be sort of stalker-like activity at four in the morning. What if my husband comes in and wants to know why I am up in the dead of night looking at pictures of Steven Pinker? So, I decided that I was not typing from Steven Pinker’s book out of any kind of sexual motivation, thus putting @heinakroon ahead for the first round of debate. Then I went back to bed.

However, I would now like to revisit this scenario. Because look… Steven Pinker does not appear to have bad eyesight. Even better, he appears to have great hair, very similar to the long flowing locks of Fabio. He also has great looking skin for a Canadian.

So, the discussion is back on.

In order to prove my point, let’s allow Satoshi Kanazawa, author of Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters to propose a simple thought experiment: “Imagine a society where sex and mating were entirely a male choice; individuals have sex whenever and with whomever men want, not whenever and with whomever women want. There would be no civilization in such a society because people would not do anything beside have sex.” If Bill Gates was busy having sex with hot college girls, would he have still put together that computer?  It isn’t sex in and of itself that makes men create cool things, it is their need to impress the women they want to sleep with.

Kanazawa points out that the key consideration here is ‘female choice.’ In all species where the female makes the greater parental investment, the choice of whether or not to mate is up to the female. Women aren’t going to do it with just anybody, you at least have to have a cool car or a book out or something. Don’t take my word on this, there are plenty of people more qualified than me to support this theory, like comedian Bill Maher:

“For a man to walk into a bar and have his choice of any woman he wants, he would have to be the ruler of the world. For a woman to have the same power over men, she’d have to do her hair.”

According to Kanazawa, the power of female choice has shaped our civilization. ”Men throughout history have had to conquer foreign lands, win battles and wars, compose symphonies, author books, write sonnets, paint portraits and cathedral ceilings, make scientific discoveries, play in rock bands, and write new computer software in order to impress women so that they will agree to have sex with them.” Who wants to conquer land just to have it? It would be pretty boring in and of itself. You obviously need all that land to impress the girls that have all their teeth.

This is all good news in two very distinct and important ways.  Firstly, I was right and therefore win the argument on @heinakroon’s blog and possibly the entire Internet. Secondly, Steven Pinker wrote an entire book because he wants to get it on with me.

I wanted a shirt that said, ‘Steven Pinker thinks I’m hot,’ but he won’t answer my emails. I would feel bad making such a statement without confirmation.

So, now that we have established that I am right and everyone who does anything is probably motivated by sex, we can start making sense of the world. For example, the guy in the expensive sports car who cut me off in traffic today did so because he totally wants to have sex with me. He is showing off his assertive driving skills to gain my attention. Of course, I am not easily seduced with a fancy car and assertive driving. You will also need to have long flowing hair like Steven Pinker. Or, maybe if you are good at sports I will reconsider.

In my next posts on this topic, Satoshi Kanazawa will describe the similarities in criminals and geniuses. Also, Steven Pinker will explain how your brain is working against you. In the meantime, keep an eye on it.