Why Girls Rule and Boys Drool

Not too long ago, Andreas Heinakroon had a blog post contemplating the always-on aspect of human sexuality which has proven rare among mammals such as us.  The human animal is unusual in another aspect in that we are logically aware of the burden of reproduction: “the concept of reproducing and becoming responsible for a child for 15-20 years might cause us to hesitate to engage in any sexual activities. To counter this, our brain is flooded with sex hormones. They make us want to have sex no matter what – consequences be damned – and is essentially a logics override, making us single-track minded and focussed only on sex” (Sexy Monkey , http://heinakroon.com).

This blog post was similar to every other post this guy has on his blog in that I found the ideas behind it incredibly thought-provoking. So I responded with,” Was reading Steven Pinker, How the Mind Works. He said something about how men create great works, like scientific achievements and art, to increase their status and get the most desirable mate possible.” I think I also mentioned something about how it is ironic that home computers are used for porn. That is when @heinakroon said the words of war, “I don’t think I agree with that.” Granted, I read the book years ago and sometimes don’t remember stuff exactly right, but from that point forward, the battle was on. This was at 4am. At 4:10am, I was digging through bookshelves for that damn Steven Pinker book.

At 4:15am I was madly typing entire sections from the Steven Pinker book in order to prove to @heinakroon that every time anyone accomplishes anything of note, they are doing it for sex.

But, then I began questioning the root cause of my own intentions. What exactly is my motivation for typing from the Steven Pinker book at an odd hour?  Am I motivated by sex? Am I trying to sleep with Steven Pinker? He is very accomplished, and scientific, but I don’t even know what he looks like. Would I still want to mate with him if he has poor eyesight? Or really bad skin? Are these the types of genetic attributes I want to pass on to my next generation?

Checking the back of the book for a photo of Steven Pinker yielded no results. I contemplated a quick Internet search, but that would be sort of stalker-like activity at four in the morning. What if my husband comes in and wants to know why I am up in the dead of night looking at pictures of Steven Pinker? So, I decided that I was not typing from Steven Pinker’s book out of any kind of sexual motivation, thus putting @heinakroon ahead for the first round of debate. Then I went back to bed.

However, I would now like to revisit this scenario. Because look… Steven Pinker does not appear to have bad eyesight. Even better, he appears to have great hair, very similar to the long flowing locks of Fabio. He also has great looking skin for a Canadian.

So, the discussion is back on.

In order to prove my point, let’s allow Satoshi Kanazawa, author of Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters to propose a simple thought experiment: “Imagine a society where sex and mating were entirely a male choice; individuals have sex whenever and with whomever men want, not whenever and with whomever women want. There would be no civilization in such a society because people would not do anything beside have sex.” If Bill Gates was busy having sex with hot college girls, would he have still put together that computer?  It isn’t sex in and of itself that makes men create cool things, it is their need to impress the women they want to sleep with.

Kanazawa points out that the key consideration here is ‘female choice.’ In all species where the female makes the greater parental investment, the choice of whether or not to mate is up to the female. Women aren’t going to do it with just anybody, you at least have to have a cool car or a book out or something. Don’t take my word on this, there are plenty of people more qualified than me to support this theory, like comedian Bill Maher:

“For a man to walk into a bar and have his choice of any woman he wants, he would have to be the ruler of the world. For a woman to have the same power over men, she’d have to do her hair.”

According to Kanazawa, the power of female choice has shaped our civilization. ”Men throughout history have had to conquer foreign lands, win battles and wars, compose symphonies, author books, write sonnets, paint portraits and cathedral ceilings, make scientific discoveries, play in rock bands, and write new computer software in order to impress women so that they will agree to have sex with them.” Who wants to conquer land just to have it? It would be pretty boring in and of itself. You obviously need all that land to impress the girls that have all their teeth.

This is all good news in two very distinct and important ways.  Firstly, I was right and therefore win the argument on @heinakroon’s blog and possibly the entire Internet. Secondly, Steven Pinker wrote an entire book because he wants to get it on with me.

I wanted a shirt that said, ‘Steven Pinker thinks I’m hot,’ but he won’t answer my emails. I would feel bad making such a statement without confirmation.

So, now that we have established that I am right and everyone who does anything is probably motivated by sex, we can start making sense of the world. For example, the guy in the expensive sports car who cut me off in traffic today did so because he totally wants to have sex with me. He is showing off his assertive driving skills to gain my attention. Of course, I am not easily seduced with a fancy car and assertive driving. You will also need to have long flowing hair like Steven Pinker. Or, maybe if you are good at sports I will reconsider.

In my next posts on this topic, Satoshi Kanazawa will describe the similarities in criminals and geniuses. Also, Steven Pinker will explain how your brain is working against you. In the meantime, keep an eye on it.

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About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

15 Responses to Why Girls Rule and Boys Drool

  1. elaine4queen says:

    FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

    the internet is sooo much more comfortable than a school playground, i have to say.

    and
    “the girls that have all their teeth” LOL

  2. MsDarkstar says:

    Well crap, apparently I’ve been right all these years that I am somehow defective because I cannot think of ANY trait or traits in a man that would make having a baby something I’d want to do. In fact, if there is the remotest chance that an activity MIGHT result in reproduction, count me out.

    Clearly, I should have started drinking tea at a younger age. I blame my refusal to crank out babies on the oxidants… or perhaps it’s the fault of free radicals. In any case, I am clearly not normal and possibly a danger to all of mankind. Thank the gods for Duracell.

  3. I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re still wrong. Ok, you’re also right, but that’s just a minor detail.

    You’re right in so far that women’s choice has shaped our world to a degree (to the extent such a
    choice actually exist – many women are doomed to have their choices made for them; by men, usually). Men do try to impress women to gain their attention and affection.

    But! I argue that science, inventions and creative arts are independent from this, and that both men and women find it satisfying in itself. Have you not ever lost track of time doing something you really like? And getting annoyed at your body for having to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom? And did that have anything to do with the prospect of impressing someone to make them find you attractive? Ok, I realise you’re a woman and you can have anyone you choose, but my point here is that the creative spirit is separate from the sexual urge.

    Obviously, once a man has created/invented/discovered that famous thing, he would use it to impress the ladies. Anything else would be counter-evolutionary.

    So, I think Steven Pinker might have fallen into the always present trap of over-interpreting characteristics and reverse-engineer them into reasons for evolution, rather than results from evolution. We are creative beings. Sometimes we create something useful. We can then leverage this to impress people and potentially mate with them. But that’s not WHY we are creative.

  4. Lisa says:

    You’ve officially changed my perspective on the world. Earlier, I bought a drink and the man behind the counter said “Here’s your 30p change.” If I had known he was really saying “here have some sex,” I would not have responded so enthusiastically to the spare change!

    … Also, the standards of blogs are appearing to become a lot cleverer than they once were… I just finished a blog about how Father Christmas saved the day for me. I fear I’m falling short.

  5. P.S. Thanks for the pingback! 🙂

  6. Gigi says:

    You people are far too deep for me on a Friday night, the night before Christmas Eve. But, I will have to say that I think Lisa wins this one. Mainly because I’m a girl and because we all know that most guys do just about everything they do with the hopes of it somehow landing them in bed with a girl….preferably one with all her teeth.

  7. Pingback: The core of creativity « heinakroon.com

  8. a says:

    Lisa wins. I’d explain, but I’m pretty sure I’d offend someone. It relates to the guy who cut you off in traffic, though.

  9. Whoremonger says:

    I’ve had this conversation with my BFF. I explained that I had recently come to the realization that not every guy who talks to us wants to sleep with us. She vehemently disagreed and said the only reason some of the guys don’t try harder to sleep with us is due to societal consequences not because they don’t want to. So now when a man or gay woman emails me at work, I look for the hidden meaning. I have sent a few replies of, not in a million years jack wagon.

    • lgalaviz says:

      This reply is brilliant. Not only do you prove I am completely and utterly right, you manage to work in the term, “not in a million years jack wagon.” Best closing argument EVER!

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