Making Plans for the Year 2012

2012 marks the end of the Mayan calendar. Some believe that the end of 2012 will bring natural disasters or the end of the world. My opinion regarding the end of the Mayan calendar, albeit poorly researched, is that you have to stop doing everything eventually. Based on this premise, obviously the Mayans would quit making a calendar. If not, at this very moment in time, some Mayan dude would be in the parking lot of the Safeway chiseling out dates into stone. Of course, someone would probably go by and tell him there is an ap for that. Then Mayan dude would get a smart phone, leaving people in the year 6015 incredibly worried they are going to die.

However solid my insubstantially researched theory may seem, it does not mean that we are not going to die. We just don’t have a save-the-date card. According to Gavin Cooke, author of Frozen Britain, at some point in the near future, we are all going to be fighting each other in barren wastelands for food. For survival tips, see “How to Survive a Wasteland Apocalypse.”  For actual information, you can go to  and read “We are all Doomed.” I am pretty sure that Andreas Heinakroon and I both read the same basic material; however, we have very different writing styles. Andreas knows how to reference tangible facts in order to present you with pertinent information, while I tend to get distracted and recommend you go to PetSmart and adopt pterodactyls.

I am, in fact, distracted even now. While I was looking up the link on for the description of our imminent demise, I noticed the “‘Cool’ Equation” blog post. Following the Heinakroon step-by-step approach, you can learn to be cool in order to give the “impression of a person who knows how to survive in the world.” Apparently, it worked for Samuel L. Jackson. Sorry to cut this short, but I gotta go work on my “laid-back, carefree poses.” I am going to be so popular during wasteland apocalypse!


About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

5 Responses to Making Plans for the Year 2012

  1. Joshua says:

    I thought the Mayans stopped making the calendar because they were too busy having their asses handed to them by nature and lack of action by the kings?

  2. No, I'm pretty sure it was the smartphone app thing. Those things are lethal.This is a great post – it reminded med that I need to go through the previous posts to see what I've missed!

  3. Gigi says:

    With all the shit going on over here it probably wouldn't bother me if the world DID end in 2012 just so I could get some down time. But with my luck, I wouldn't be wiped out but I'd end up getting stuck fighting in the Apocalypse! Sometimes, I just can't win.

  4. Em says:

    This is awesome.Gigi,But maybe you can get your hands on a horse.

  5. Anonymous says:

    My advice; just do what John Cusak does.

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