Treadmills are Stupid

In order to promote a healthy lifestyle, I have decided to create some athletic wear. This athletic, sweat resistant, 100% virtual t-shirt is perfect either for going to the gym, or not going to the gym.

Before you head over to the gym, I feel obligated to tell you that there will be no soft serve ice cream. I have been to several gyms and there has never been soft serve ice cream. Other people (some I know personally) have gone to gyms and reported the lack of ice cream. However if, despite the almost certain absence of soft serve, you find yourself at the gym you will need this shirt. Mainly because it is hard to be ironic while you are sweating, particularly if you find are on a treadmill. Ironic people are highly regarded, and this shirt will do all the work for you.

If you are not at the gym because you do indeed fell that treadmills might be slightly ridiculous, wearing this shirt will vindicate your life choice.

NOTE: If you find a gym with a soft serve machine, please comment to this post immediately. I will promptly send you a free virtual ‘Treadmills are Stupid’ t-shirt. It won’t exist, but it is dryer safe.


About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

11 Responses to Treadmills are Stupid

  1. gramps says:

    Having just discovered you, I was catching up and found the virtual t-shirt "I have Boobs"You could make it universal with a "I have Moobs" for us guys

  2. Tova says:

    The gym at my college had a "smoothie" bar with "smoothies" made of ice cream. I think that is the closest you will get to soft serve. 😦

  3. Gigi says:

    Treadmills ARE stupid; but ellipticals are evil.

  4. sounds like the shirt is a win win!

  5. who says:

    Chico Sports Club used to sell frozen yogurt at the fitness center across the street from Chico Community Hospital's rehabilitation center off of Cohasset Road but I can only verify it as being true to this day, when this day was seventeen years ago.

  6. S.L. says:

    I'm still trying to ponder how well wearing a virtual shirt will work. I'm thinking I'll get a lot of attention, and none of it for the irony.

  7. John says:

    The only thing treadmills are good for are awesome YouTube videos of people falling off of them. Treadmills and professional ice skating have this in common.

  8. Will's Dad says:

    I'm going to order one of these cuisinart soft serve ice cream makers on Amazon ( and have it shipped to my gym. I'll send you a picture.Note: I don't belong to a gym.

  9. LGalaviz says:

    @ Will's Dad: You sir, are a man of action.

  10. LGalaviz says:

    @gramps: MOOBs Shirt added. Boom. Winner!

  11. Debihen says:

    I have a lot of clothing and handbags hanging on my treadmill. If I didn't have that treadmill, I would have no storage for the clothes and handbags. Therefore, I have to disagree; treadmills don't suck as long as you use them as God intended: as a clothes rack.

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