How to Get a Hobby

It is extremely important to have a hobby because at some point in your life, someone is going to ask you what hobbies you have. If you don’t have at least a small hobby, it is like you don’t exist. You have to be involved in stuff. You can’t just go around typing things into Twitter all day like it is some sort of purpose in life.

As an added incentive, your hobby will be the basis for people to decide how interesting you are. Ideally, you will have a hobby ready at hand that will make you appear more interesting than you actually are. You need to decide what this hobby will be well ahead of the question because it is hard to think of these things on the fly. If you don’t plan ahead, you are going to come up with something stupid like dog walking or eating potato chips.

Let’s get things started with a list of acceptable hobbies. Here are some authentic hobbies that I researched on Twitter.

Scrapbooking

I know you are worried starting out that you might not have enough scraps, but @sup3rmom informs me that they will share their scraps with you, as long as you bring your own wine. I like things where you can go to have wine, so I am already mostly on board with this one.

Dramatic Paper Ripping

@blogginglily suggested dramatic paper ripping. He is also willing to give lessons. If enough people are interested, maybe we can work out a discount.

Oolong Monkey Training

@lahikmajoe suggested Oolong monkey training, but Alura’s CrossWorlds Cafe and I both know that Teavana is never going to break down and tell us where they are hiding the monkeys.

Hooking

This is actually not what you are thinking. According to @ToujoursPurSang, this is alternate term for ‘crochet.’ Sure, you can use the term ‘crochet’ but you appear much more interesting if you tell people you are a ‘hooker’ or into ‘hooking.’

Hooking is a very productive hobby that results in lots of scarves, pot-holders, and sweaters. You could even make steering wheel cozies. Those are VERY popular. The negative side of this hobby is that people may not perceive it as interesting. After they figure out that when you said you ‘spend a lot of time hooking’ is that you are making stuff out of yarn, your hobby might fail to hold a their interest.

Blog Commenting

According to @MsCreatrix, writing really long comments counts as a valid hobby. As an added bonus, that is something I am already doing. However, very much like the hooking, this plan fails to make you more interesting. It might make you very interesting to bloggers probably, but no one else. There is also the added danger that after the hobby discussion, you end up with a guy that smells like soup making you read his blog about greenhouses. You can’t go around announcing stuff about blogs without expecting repercussions.

Hiking

I got this hiking hobby comment via text message, the very text message discussion in which someone asked about my hobbies. This person obviously does not know me very well. I panicked and said my hobby was potato chips. I regret now that I did not say Cheetos. This is exactly why it is so important to plan these things out in advance.

What is it about hiking? Isn’t hiking just walking around? Sure, the surfaces are uneven and the view is usually nicer that view you get from the parking lot as you scurry to your car, but you really aren’t doing anything terribly out of the ordinary. You could even say your hobby is looking at stuff. Hiking makes it sound more awesome than it really is.

This shirt is in case you want outside suggestions apart from those in this blog. (I know, why WOULD you.)

I propose we do a thought experiment. Let’s take something you are already doing and make it not only into a hobby, but an impressive one. I’m going to go with potato chips. Potato chips will make a wonderful hobby, and not just because I’m already committed to it from some ill-thought text message.

Consulting the hive mind**, I send my hobby related chip skills out to Twitter and let my minions get to work. At first, prospects looked dim.  @lahikmajoe questioned whether eating potato chips was a proper hobby. I was about to throw up my hands in despair when @_viouslymaggie saved the day by suggesting I take up watching too many series. This idea is brilliant in that I will have people to talk to and it “goes well with crisps.” See, @lahikmajoe, THAT is how you give a suggestion.

Then, @debihen made a proposal that was absolutely inspired. She said that if I find a chip shaped like Jesus, I could put it in a museum with my name on a plaque. I always like to go the extra mile, so I think I will make my own potato chip museum. People find Jesus on toast and tortillas all the time. How difficult could he be to locate famous people on chips? I already may have my hands on a Justin Bieber.

I got all excited about adding an educational science wing to my museum when @heinakroon suggested Darwin or Planck chips. Then, much to my disappointment, he admitted to not actually having the chips shaped like these individuals. Thanks for NOTHING, @heinakroon. Not to worry, though. The museum project is still on track. @ivycanucchi is buying chips today at the market and is fairly optimistic about finding a Jim Morrison or a Frank Sinatra chip. I’m hoping for Morrison.

**I think Lucy’s Football is responsible for coining the term ‘hive mind’ in reference to Twitter, but I don’t remember exactly. I would really appreciate if someone could go read the entirety of Lucy’s Football blog in order to provide a link to the actual statement. Thanks.

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About lgalaviz
All of this hardly seems necessary.

26 Responses to How to Get a Hobby

  1. I missed all the hobby discussion because I was working, I think. Or maybe hiding in a cave, I do that sometimes.

    Do blogging or working at the theater count as hobbies? Because if they don’t, I think I’m hobby-less. And therefore probably not very interesting. I mean, I know how to be a hooker but haven’t done it in a while because I have no time to do it. So I guess I’m an ex-hooker. God will be so proud I’m out of the life.

    I’m going to make up a hobby. I COLLECT FOREIGN COINS. There. I’m totally interesting now. I think I have a Canadian penny around here somewhere, so it’s not even a lie, really.

    • lgalaviz says:

      Yes! Made up hobbies are the best. Why did I not think of this? I totally have some Canadian coins. Let’s start a club!

      • Bronwyn says:

        i, too, have Canadian coins!! woot! (caveat: i’m Canadian… does this make it count less? i think i have Japanese coins and Icelandic coins around here somewhere…)

        *scurries off to look*

        • lgalaviz says:

          Canadian coins totally count. I have all fifty states of American quarters. Or, more specifically, I started that collection and never finished it. Right now, I think I am going to use it for Taco Bell. Yes, I said Taco Bell. Don’t judge me.

    • lgalaviz says:

      Theater totally counts! However, I already highlighted the peril of going around talking about blogs.

      • I’m glad theater counts, because I hate the smell of soup, and if I had to read a greenhouse blog, I think I would die a million small boredom deaths. So I’m going with theater. Or the coin-collecting. Oh, when we drink our whipped-cream vodka, we can also make up the rules of our foreign-coin club. This night is getting better and better!

        • Why stop with whipped cream vodka? I mean, why not expand into other liquors that taste like things other than liquor…? Like butterscotch schnapps… totally tastes like butterscotch and not liquor. OH HOLY H#LL.. I just had a brilliant idea! Whipped Cream Vodka + Butterscotch Schnapps in Hot Chocolate… I think I just had a small orgasm thinking about it.

        • lgalaviz says:

          Let’s coordinate the time zone factor in our whipped-cream vodka adventure. If I have to get drunk at noon that’s okay.

  2. Sometimes you can even turn a hobby into a business, as this gentleman has done: http://origamiboulder.com/

    I have found that I can spend an entire day surfing around the internet and entering contests and giveaways, so… trying to get something for nothing is one of my hobbies. Also, I tell people I am a novelist. I leave out the part about writing my novel one blog post at a time. Novelist sounds much more erudite than blogger. Blogger sounds like a rude noise created by a bodily function that you might not want to discuss in public.

    I am also a Creatrix of bath products. I make bath fizzies. And bath salts, oatmeal milk bath and all sorts of other tub-related things. The great part about that is that I can spend countless hours lounging in the tub and it totally counts as product research and development. Also, all the crap I buy from bath shops? Also research. So, I get the added bonus of sounding all sciency. I have a little more trouble convincing the Internal Revenue Service that $350 a month in bath products is a bona fide business expense but find that when you tend to “sample” several fragrances before you go to an audit that often you can make the auditor a little woozy and then let it slip that he “seemed intoxicated” when you write a letter to his supervisor to appeal the decision once you’ve been told that bath products are not business expenses. Believe me, the world would be a much more pleasant place if more people spent more time bathing.

    Lisa.. if I put dramatic readings of my blog posts on my blog would that count as “theater”? I’m just curious (and totally haven’t spent several hours trying to record “The Vagina Cheeto Shish Kebob Diaries”)

    • lgalaviz says:

      I don’t think I am dedicated enough for an actual hobby. I start a lot of things I don’t finish. I like the idea of bath fizzies, though. You know what… I am going with your blogger, I mean NOVELIST, plan. But then people will just ask what I have published. This could lead to me feeling I need to finish something. Does anyone out there have a book I can say I wrote?
      Thanks.

      • MsDarkstar says:

        Ok, no, see… here’s the deal with being a “novelist”…. when people ask what you’ve published you get to go on a rant about your crazy/lazy/psychotic AGENT who can’t seem to get you a deal and you just wish they’d take what the publisher is offering… you can use this excuse pretty much FOREVER… (at least that’s my experience, your mileage may vary).

  3. DogsDontPurr says:

    My hobby is drinking too much and then sleeping in late. I try to make time for it and do it whenever I can. My favorite thing is getting started on the project and seeing it through to the end. I’m not like one of those hobbyists that never finish what they’ve started. I always follow through.

    *hiccup*

    • lgalaviz says:

      This will totally be my new hobby if you can think of a cool name for it.

      I’ll tell you what… I’ll go ahead and start my new hobby now, and get the name from you later. Thanks.

  4. Debihen says:

    The timing was off on this whole chip museum idea. Yesterday I had two Elvis, a Jesus, and a 5 legged llama chips for lunch. Today I got nothin’ for you but an idea to start a chip museum. My bad.

  5. What about starting a discussion group on ‘Clever business ideas you’ll never be able to implement’?

    I’ll start: ‘Twitter shopping assistant’, where you can enjoy the company and advice of your Twitter friends whilst shopping – possibly with webcam support. That way you’d never have to go shopping alone again, no matter what time of day it is.

    Or how about a ‘Cheaper than an app mp3 download store’ which would in one fell swoop solve the music industry problems of piracy of copyrighted material and falling sales (the idea being that no one would bother trying to steal copyrighted music if buying an album would cost you 99 cents or something).

  6. a says:

    Yeah, that uninteresting thing is quite the downer. I told one of my coworkers that I taught myself to knit, and she said “I’m sorry.” Of course, this was before knitting was known as a valid hobby. I was groundbreaker.

    My main hobby, though, is instigating. I like to stir things up and get other people all worked up about things, and then just wander off. It’s highly amusing.

    • lgalaviz says:

      Being interesting is the main thing in all of this. Why else would anyone ask? They want to know what category to put you in: knitter, or parachute jumper. Maybe you should tell them you knit parachutes. You can create a zone of whole new respect for your hobby.

      Instigating as a hobby is great. Except if it turns out badly, you don’t want to take credit. If it turns out well, no one will give you credit. Who am I kidding? That never turns out well.

  7. Edwin Drooooooood says:

    My hobby is reading “The Best Self-Help T-Shirt Catalog Ever!” :)

  8. lahikmajoe says:

    Thought I’d already commented on this…damn.

    Seems like making up *uninspirational sayings* could be a hobby. That was fun, wasn’t it?

    And the adventures that you’ve had writing your blog seem to be possible hobbies in the making. You’re influential on Klout about hobbies. That’ll come in handy, I’m sure.

  9. Pingback: I’d kill for a Muffin right now. « Sovereignty

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